Friday 14 May 2010

Think globally, bomb locally

After the avalanche of new information following the arrest of the alleged Times Square toon-a-bomber, the release has apparently dwindled to a trickle. After some speculation about how Shahzad could have been radicalized by his housing default and other serious political punditry, the nation's front pages have once again been declared a terrorist free zone and we have been able to turn our thoughts to more pressing matters like determining whether Obama's latest pick for the SCOTUS is hot or not.

The only information coming out now has to do with my favourite "-istan", Pakistan. From what I can gather, an army of lone wolves with possibly some or a lot of ties to the Taliban, or maybe even none at all, were so seriously angry with Obama's individual mandate that they allegedly attempted to redecorate Times Square to look like Waziristan. (My second favourite "-istan", if you're keeping score.) Since authorities have tried to avoid the pink elephant in the room wearing a suicide belt and looking nervous, we can only guess that any subsequent trial will remain as close to the centre ring of the circus as possible. My suggestion? The trial should be a mixture of Survivor and Dancing With the Stars with text-in votes determining guilt. If it appears on prime time, we may even be lucky enough to get the attention of the people in charge of national security. We can always hope, at least.

For now, it looks like the weather report will be partly jihadi with a chance of scattered Sharia and no one in our government has an umbrella.

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