Monday 14 June 2010

Tax sluts on the strip

Unfortunately, I can't find the original post at No Pasarán, but I have to give them full credit for introducing me to Britain's resident tax whore, Richard Murphy at While anyone who could get his knickers wet talking about government mandated productivity penalties would probably draw more curious onlookers at a freak show than a three-balled bearded lady who can fart the national anthem, apparently this man really does love taxes. So much so in fact, that I wish he would keep both hands in full view on this short video on the joys of tax.

I saw the original post at No Pasarán months ago, but I have thought about how he could make his pining ode to taxes more "reality based." Somewhere at the two minute mark is where he should have added the following text.

"Taxes. We want more taxes to ensure that the work shy are able to sofa surf instead of joining the workforce, and even more taxes to ensure that business owners are no longer able to hire the unemployed anyway.

Taxes. Because the wealth that you create is not really yours until the government gets their cut.

Taxes, where the government gets not only the majority of your productive gains, but also gets to penalize your success or subsidize your neighbour's failures. Not only does the government get the first and greatest portion of your wealth before you have the opportunity to spend it on necessities like food, clothing, and shelter, but we get a further cut if you can purchase these items.

Taxes. They enable the government to spend your money on things you would never willingly purchase, like longer holidays and luxurious pensions for the state workers that enforce the tax code. That's right; we can take your money and use it to employ other people to force you to pay even more taxes.

Taxes. Do not worry if taxes make you too poor to sustain yourself; there must be someone somewhere who is even richer than you that we can force to pay for your needs after you are no longer able to.

Taxes. They take from you before you earn your income, cannibalize your actual income, and if there is any left over to invest or spend, they get a portion of that as well. The money is repeatedly taxed while you are living, and taxed again once you are dead.

Taxes. Because the common good overrides the individual good. Taxes are also where less than 50% of the money taken from productivity and consumption slated for the public good actually reaches the public. Most of the money is spent on maintaining the state apparatus, where workers enjoy a standard of living that is higher than average in the countries where they work, equalling in effect a transfer of wealth up the social ladder.

Taxes. Oh, yeah, Taxes. Lovely, lovely taxes. I'm gonna need a cigarette when I'm done. Dirty, dirty taxes."

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